Are you the type of person who forgives easily? After forgiving others, were you disappointed to realize the people you forgave and allowed back into your life never changed? I can attest to this as I’ve spent hundreds, if not thousands of moments being upset at others for taking my kindest for weakness. Even worse, I would be so angry with myself. How could I keep falling for the b.s. over and over again? How could I allow myself to love unconditionally to where it was causing more harm than good?
When it comes to these sorts of situations, the best things we can do is let go. No matter how much you love and care for a person, it doesn’t make sense to keep facing pain knowing deep down things will always stay the same. This is a tough reality I had to face in my life. Loyalty doesn’t matter if you’re loyal to the wrong ones.
Now, letting go is so much easier said than done. I can give you a million tips and tricks on how to let those who cause you pain go, but the truth is this all boils down to you. So I will share with you how I let go and how it changed my life. It isn’t going to happen overnight, but remember, you deserve the best life ever! We all deserve to be around people who love us and SHOW their love and pure interest with both their actions and words.
Before I go into these tips, remember you are love. We live in a world where many people are broken. People who are broken show love in some of the most hurtful ways. Unfortunately they have no clue what true love really is about. Its hard to give something we are unaware of right? These individuals need so much love, but have a wrong way of asking for it. Those in these situations tend to be very tense, upset with the world, spend their lives believing they are victims and/or make others victims to their cruel behavior and actions. Eventually, some will become aware of their low vibrations and demand change by looking in the mirror and correcting themselves. Others will take this toxicity to their graves.
No matter how hurt you are from the actions of others, never ever change the beautiful soul you are. Yes, it may hurt and you may want to beat yourself up about it. Remember this is only temporary and with the right actions, you can change your life for the better. You can demand respect without being disrespectful. If others feel you are disrespectful, it is their narcissistic behavior of manipulation (or their ego that feels this way).
#1 Accept people for who they are
As I mentioned above, some people are just broken and toxic. If you try to change their perception about you or the world, it will only bring more chaos your way. The first step here is to accept people for who are. Accepting their ways takes you one step closer to self healing and a fulfilling life.
#2 FORGIVE yourself
Take a moment to write down the details that has caused you to feel pain. Read it. Release your feelings by crying or punching a pillow. The idea here is to release pain without bringing harm to yourself or others. Once you have finished this process and feel you have let all the emotions out, now is the time to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for being loyal and trustworthy to those who simply didn’t appreciate someone like you in their lives. Being aware of the mistakes we make is the best thing to do. This eliminates the possiblity of going backwards by trying to claim victinhood. Someone who feels they are a victim can find it hard to take ownership for their mistakes, where they went wrong and where they were wrong. Forgiveness opens the doors to the possibilities of growth and true potential.
#3 FORGIVE those who hurt you
This step is just as important as forgiving yourself. When we forgive, this allows us to heal those wounds. Overtime, we are able to move forward knowing we still love the people who hurt us without feeling obligated to them. It’s also easy to let go of resentment, and clear any low vibrations from our hearts. Forgiveness is the key to a healthier life on all levels.
#4 Create positive affirmations to live by daily
Creating a list of positive affirmations reminds us of who we are, what we will accept, and will no longer tolerate from others. These positive affirmations are to be written in the present moment. They are to speak very highly of you, and should be read to yourself and/or aloud in the morning and before bed at night. These affirmations will remind you of how great you truly are and how you are enough. You do not need other’s approval to be YOU! Have fun with these affirmations as they can and will change your life.
#5 Take care of you!
Many times when we spend time around negativity and low vibrations, we tend to lose ourselves. This can be poor eating choices, using more profanity, or simply slacking on self care altogether. This is perfectly normal as we have been around that energy. The great part about letting go is you can get back into everything you wanted to do without these distractions. Many times, the people you were around are still making poor choices for their well being. The beauty is that you are the one who made a choice to get back to a better version of yourself.
Have you been wanting to read that book, start that new project, launch the business idea you’ve had for a long time or just take that steaming bath around a ton of lit candles? If you’ve been throwing anything off that can make you embrace the beautiful person you are, now is the time to get back to you. You deserve it! No one can fill this cup, but you!
#6 Set boundaries and be clear with how you feel
There will come a time when you see those who made you feel unworthy. Set healthy boundaries. There’s no need to pretend like everything is great when it clearly isn’t great. Just be yourself and have those boundaries set so people know to take you seriously and respect you. There’s no need to be disrespectful, be angry with them or lose the demeanor you have about yourself. Remember, you have already taken the time to forgive yourself for the situation. You have already forgiven the other party. So be you & continue to stand strong.
We can let go of anyone that no longer serves us by…
Positive self talk
Self love &
Setting healthy boundaries
I hope this post brings you clarity, peace & light!